****THE NEVERENDING THREAD OF DEATH****[views:745670][posts:1373]_________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] Q: What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? A: An erection. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] Q: Why did the baby fall off the swing? A: Because it had no arms or legs |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A: A bus load of babies on fire. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:56pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? A: Nailing it to a puppy. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:56pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:56pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies? A: Sticking pins in their eyes |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:57pm - Assuck ""] Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:57pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:57pm - Assuck ""] Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:57pm - Assuck ""] Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? A: Crib death. |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 12:59pm - RustedAngel ""] hahahhahhaaah pretty good. |
| ________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 1:01pm - Assuck ""] Assuck said:Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken this was post 900 |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 2:28pm - swamplorddvm ""] This in post 901. |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 2:32pm - MyDeadDoll ""] assuck, you have way too much time on your hands... |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 2:59pm - swamplorddvm ""] I have way to much cock in my hand. Maybe I should stop masturbating. |
| ________________________________ [Sep 23,2004 3:17pm - Assuck ""] i have even more time on my hands now cause i just got fuckin fired cause the new manager of the store is a fuckin lying douche bag |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:48pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:48pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:49pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:51pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:53pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:54pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] Here's a picture of a public toilet in Swedin that's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box. Would you use it? |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:55pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:56pm - Assuck ""] [img] |
| _________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 12:57pm - Assuck ""] Two turtles go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener. The first turtle turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer." "No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food." "I promise I won't," says the turtle. "Just hurry!" Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second turtle. Exasperated and starving, the first turtle digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second turtle pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not fucking going!" |
| ________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 1:01pm - Assuck ""] two muffins are sitting in an oven getting cooked the first muffin turns to the second one and says "its getting kinda hot in here, eh buddy?" the second one says "holy shit, a talking muffin!" |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 1:07pm - dyingmuse ""] der...lol |
| ______________________________ [Sep 24,2004 2:46pm - Wood ""] Why should you put a baby into a blender feet first. So you can cum on its face. |
| ________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 6:56pm - Assuck ""] we only need 70 more posts in like a week chop chop |
| ___________________________________________ [Sep 24,2004 11:20pm - Josiah_the_Black ""] whats the difference between a baby and a lobster? one you catch in a trap, boil and eat, and the other is a lobster |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 12:31am - honor4death ""] C |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 12:31am - honor4death ""] S |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 12:31am - honor4death ""] D |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 12:32am - honor4death ""] O |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 12:33am - honor4death ""] SHOULD QUIT TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM PEOPLE STILL LIKE THEM :middlefinger: |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:30am - Assuck ""] ba dang tang |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:43am - Assuck ""] the following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms: 01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:43am - Assuck ""] 02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:44am - Assuck ""] 03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:44am - Assuck ""] 04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:44am - Assuck ""] 05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:45am - Assuck ""] 06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:45am - the_reverend ""] 1.2MB each time someone veiws this! |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:45am - Assuck ""] 07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:45am - Assuck ""] 08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:45am - Assuck ""] 09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:46am - Assuck ""] 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 25,2004 11:46am - Assuck ""] 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. |