Retiring One of My Favorite Jokes[views:1550][posts:14]_________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:19am - xmikex ""] My friend is getting married tomorrow. About 3 years ago he said one of the most ignorant things I've ever heard, and I've never let him live it down. A bunch of us were hanging out and my friend Sean made mention that his new girlfriend was half (or maybe not even half) Philipino. My friend in question then proceeded to flip out (he had been drinking) yelling "D00000000000ooooD you gotta hold onto her maaaan." (he doesn't even talk like this normally, it just came out. I finally asked him what the hell the big deal was, and he informed me that Philipino girls give supernatural, epic, Olympic worthy blowjobs. He insisted that it was part genetic, and part culture (and I quote, "Doood their mother's teach em shit!") but whatever it was it lead to all Philipino girls anywhere ever being able to give miracle head. This started a 3 year period of nonstop hassling from everyone who was there. It became a running gag about girls from obscure countries giving blowjobs, and the more obscure the country, the more insane the blowjob. I posted this in my livejournal in August of 2004: Report from the IOCBC (International Obscure Country Blowjob Commission). The follow countries give the sweetest blowjobs....dude: 10. Abu Dhabi 9. Sudan 8. Canada (Upper Saskatchekwan ONLY) 7. Côte d'Ivoire 6. Prussia 5. The Phillipines 4. Atlantis 3. Latvia 2. Flanders (Pre-Netherlands) 1. Cuntsylvania and sometime later I posted this: [img] He's getting married tomorrow, and I'm happy for him. But this gag deserved one last hurrah. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:21am - the_reverend ""] that picture made me lol. |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:24am - PC Police ""] Filipino |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:26am - MikePile ""] hahaha, Cuntsylvania |
| _________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:28am - xmikex ""] PC Police said:Filipino really? damn. that's so stupid. Why is the country spelled with a PH but not the adjective? |
| _____________________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:29am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Stand up and tell it at his wedding. THAT will be the last hurrah. |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:29am - DestroyYouAlot ""] [img] Atlantean Girls Are Easy. |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:33am - the_reverend ""] pictures under the seat of all the wedding guests. seriously, do it. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:35am - xmikex ""] menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:Stand up and tell it at his wedding. THAT will be the last hurrah. That'd be the wedding toast to end all toasts. Maybe one day they'll make a movie about it, and Owen Wilson will play me..... oh wait. |
| _____________________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:41am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Owen Wilson should be castrated on film. |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:43am - PC Police ""] xmikex said:PC Police said:Filipino really? damn. that's so stupid. Why is the country spelled with a PH but not the adjective? I don't know....but I was hanging with a Filipino chick for awhile and she always got pissed at me if I typed it with a Ph and not an F. Actully this chick got her tongue pierced and her mom got pissed telling her that women only get that piercing to give better blow jobs. |
| ___________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 10:47am - DaveFromTheGrave ""] PC Police said:Filipino Fuck you Faggot |
| _________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 11:09am - xmikex ""] PC Police said:xmikex said:PC Police said:Filipino really? damn. that's so stupid. Why is the country spelled with a PH but not the adjective? I don't know....but I was hanging with a Filipino chick for awhile and she always got pissed at me if I typed it with a Ph and not an F. Actully this chick got her tongue pierced and her mom got pissed telling her that women only get that piercing to give better blow jobs. A guy I used to work with told me a story about this Filipino (I think) girl who wasn't allowed to watch Joanie Loves Chachi. Her mom told her it was a disgusting show, and absolutely forbid her to watch it. When she grew up she finally asked her mom what the hell the big deal was. She found out that Chachi means dick in Filipino, i.e. Joanie Loves Dick. |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 11:13am - DestroyYouAlot ""] xmikex said:She found out that Chachi means dick in Filipino, i.e. Joanie Loves Dick. Common knowledge; she can't get enough of it. |
| _______________________________________________ [Sep 21,2007 12:00pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] FilipinAs give the best blowjobs dood If you're bragging about getting blown by a "FilipinO chick": [img] |